Monday, May 11, 2009

For the Mamas.

It's Mother's Day! I've had a few now, I'm a seasoned pro! I snuggled with my littlest one and whispered in his ear how grateful I am to be his mommy, and how happy that we get to celebrate our second Mother's Day together. I pulled my big girl in for a hug and whispered in her ear how grateful I am to be her mommy, and how she, being the first, made me a mommy. I have two smiling, laughing, amazing, wonderful, happy children. I am so blessed and so grateful that God found me worthy to be the mother of these two. Sometimes I don't feel like I can handle it, and I don't feel that I'm doing a good enough job, but all it takes is a sweet, "Mama, you are my best friend ever!" from my princess, or the dimply smiled boy extending his arms in the air to me when I come home to make me realize that I'm not doing such a bad job after all.

There are many mother figures in my life. My own mother, who is my best friend and cheerleader in life, who has taught me more about life and about myself than I could even begin to put into words. She is the mom I want to be. She is my true inspiration. I miss her so much. I have two wonderful grandmothers, who love me, despite and because of my faults. I disappoint them and call them to beg for money, and they still love me. They are wonderful women, and I'm lucky to have them in my life. I have two amazing aunts who support me and love me and my family. They have been there through some rough things the past few years, and without their support, I'm not sure how I would have handled things. I'm grateful to have them in my life. My husband has a second-mother, if you will, and she adores him and me and our kids. She's been a great source of comfort to my husband when he needs it, and she dotes on my children and makes them feel loved and wanted constantly. She's a wonderful gift to our family.

I could go on and on.

The point is...every single one of those amazing women live approximately 1400 miles away from me. How did that happen? Well, we were in a rough place. We couldn't get a handle on our lives, we couldn't figure out what needed to be done. We took a big leap and moved across the country. I don't think it was a bad thing, and I don't regret making this choice. We've learned a lot about ourselves, what is most important to our family, where our values and ideals lie. We've grown closer as a couple and closer to our children. We've finally figured out where our priorities are. I don't know what, if anything, will happen right now, but it's fairly evident that we are in for yet another major, life-changing leap. This time we're going to land somewhere where we are wanted and loved and cared about, unconditionally.

So, change is in the air. Again. Maybe. Possibly. Probably. We'll see how things advance as the days go on. Either way, I'm grateful for these incredibly women who have molded and shaped my life, who have loved me constantly, and who love and support my husband and children. That's what true family is, and I'm so lucky to have such an amazing one, and so happy that we've finally figured out how important that is to us.

Happy Mother's Day, to all the amazing moms in my life.