A moment.

I stood on my porch this evening as I waited for my sweet husband to back our vehicle down the driveway for me.

It was cool, a bit breezy, but very comfortable.

The sky was a bit cloudy, but a few stars were able to find their way through.

I sighed.

It was a happy sigh.

Today we celebrated the life of our beautiful girl.

We had family and friends from both of our lives, all mixed together in our tiny house.

It was beautiful.

Such love and laughter.

I stood on my porch, gazing into the sky, and just thinking about how sometimes everything feels just right.

My heart, full and happy and longing...

What a wonderful week!

My husband has been home on vacation and we've had a marvelous time. I'll be honest, I wasn't entirely sure it would be so marvelous! Often when he's been home for an extended period of time, we have some not-so-pleasant moments between us. I need to stop expecting that, because the not-so-pleasant moments have become fewer and further between lately, and I'm enjoying it!

We went up north and visited family for a few days. My father-in-law and one of me nephews were in from out of town and we had such a great time catching up with them. Lots of swimming, fishing, and barbecuing! Lots of laughter and fun family moments, that's for sure.

And then just being home together. *sigh* I've loved it.

My daughter woke up tonight presumably from a night terror. We've had some issues with these when she was younger, and every once in awhile they come out again. She had one tonight, and her daddy was the first to jump up and help her come to. She then fell asleep in his arms and he carried her back to bed. I didn't have to ask, it just happened. She needed her daddy and he was there, no questions asked. I honestly got a little teary-eyed watching them - more teary-eyed then the sappy movie the hubs and I had been watching when the princess came out of her room!

Yeah, instead of playing a game, he sat down next to me and watched a movie that I'm pretty sure wasn't anywhere near his top 10 movies I must see before I die. He put his arm around me and we laughed and had a great evening.

This feels good.

I'm still aching in my heart for the expansion of our family. We've talked a lot. There are several different ways we are considering. I've planted the seed of possibility in his mind and that's gotten the ball rolling. We're not making any decisions anytime soon, but we're discussing. I'm all for discussing.

Now I'm off to do the dishes. I'm on a freakin roll with those damn things this week, and I'm not interested in losing the battle just yet! Down with the dirty dishes!!!

Hello, weekend.

It's 3:00am.

I should sleep.

I should clean the bathroom.

My baby has been potty-training this week, and, well, he's a boy.

It's not like he stands up to pee, but he sure does miss the toilet.

I've taught him how to wipe himself after peeing.

I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do or not.

I've never been a boy.

The husband may have to work on that at a later time.

I'm so proud of the boy!

I didn't think he was ready.

Just three days a go he came up to me and said, "Mama, potty!"

Who was I to disagree? So off we went.

And he did it!

He's been on a roll ever since. We're off to buy big boy underwear tomorrow.

My baby!! :)

I think it's time for another one.

Or twelve.

Or not.

We'll see how it goes, I suppose.

Hopefully the husband doesn't read that.

I was up late working on my softball statistics.

Then decided I was too tired and I'd finish in the morning.

So I got up and washed dishes.

My work is never done.

Hmmm, if he's old enough to pee in the toilet, he's old enough to wash the dishes, right?

One of his favorite things is to grab a chair and pull it up to the sink and play in the water.

I take that as a future request for that job.

No problem, buddy. Mama's got you covered.

There's a beautiful blonde curly-haired girl in my bed.

She loves me.

She needs me.

Still.

I'm hanging on to that.

But I'm almost whatever age I'm almost and I still need my mommy.

So there's hope.

She tells me often that she never wants to move out, even when she's 100.

I told her that's fine.

She can stay right here forever.

My smiley boy better have the same plan.

I don't want to let go.

82 days until I'm a college student.

Again.

I'm so excited!!

I wish I could go buy books now.

Patience isn't one of my strong suits.

Hmm, what else?

I'm madly in love with my husband.

That's probably a good thing, considering we're married and all.

But I do like him.

A lot, even.

Even on days when I don't like him.

Go figure.

I'm rambling because I'm sleep deprived.

HA!

Funny.

Not.

I should go to sleep.

Well, fine.

Good point.

What?

OKAY!

I'm going.

See you later, weekend.

Hi there, Monday!

I always have plans for these great blog posts.

I'll be driving somewhere and start writing the post in my head.

I get home, yeah, it's all gone.

What comes out is more of me rambling.

Sorry.

If you are surprised or horrified, you really should have read the title of the blog.

It ain't no lie!

My girl is heading into her last month of pre-school.

I'm excited for her to move on to the great unknown of kindergarten at her new school with new teachers and new friends and new experiences!

I'm also completely terrified.

I'm sending her to a bigger elementary school.

What if she gets lost?

What if she wanders off that playground? I drive by on my way home and always see kids playing near the openings and where the heck are the adults?

Is she going to miss me if she's gone all day every single day?

I'm not sure about this.

Yet I know she is so ready. I know that she will be safe. I'm in love with the school, the principal, and what they stand for.

I'm just not sure about my baby growing up.

My little boy is sick today.

He caught the bug his sister had been carrying around for a few days, I think.

She's so much better, thankfully.

The little man, not so much. He slept soundly, so hopefully today will be a better day (ya know, a little less vomiting in my hands, perhaps?).

I love how I can cuddle with both my kids at the same time.

What would I do with another one?

Oh, but my heart aches for more.

There's so much in my heart and my head for my life and for my family.

The husband and I are going to school, and we're going to achieve our dreams.

Our little house is coming together more and more each day.

Our babies are happy and loved.

We support each other.

I'm letting God deeper into my life.

I'm searching my heart for what is right.

Now my girl will be late for school because we have to leave in 20 minutes and I'm sitting here blogging away while she's snoring it up in the bedroom!

Mom, for the win.

Oh summer.

I'm so beyond giddy about going back to school.

I'm not sure that giddiness will continue once homework and papers and exams start piling up.

But for now, I'm giddy.

I wish it was September!

At the same time, I hope the next few months slow down a bit.

I want to enjoy this summer.

My little girl will be in school all day, all week, starting in September.

My little girl is going to a brand new school, starting in September.

This begins her real school life. She's in pre-k now, and she loves it, but it's just a few days a week, for a few hours.

Next year, it's all day, every day.

That's a lot.

It is another reminder of how fast she has grown.

My little girl.

With her big blue eyes, blonde curls, beautiful smile, and her imagination that runs a mile a minute.

She's amazing.

Summer will bring us lots of excitement.

Our first time in a t-ball league.

Her first time playing t-ball.

My first time coaching t-ball.

This summer will bring lots of baseball, just like it did every summer of my childhood.

There's something awesome about that.

This summer will bring visits from far away uncles.

That brings tears to my eyes. Oh how I miss those boys.

This summer will bring birthdays and BBQ's and carnivals and parties and swimming and park playdates and late nights playing in our backyard.

I love summer.

I will let my excitement for school go just a little bit, just a little so that I can enjoy my summer.

Life is so amazingly sweet.

You Capture - A Moment

I've never participated in one of these before, but there are several that I follow regularly with interest! Especially You Capture. I want to take pictures, I want to catch these special moments and have them forever!

This week's challenge was "A Moment". I debated how to go about this. What kind of moment? Something sweet? Happy? Messy? Frustrating? Messy AND frustrating? (which is more likely these days...)

Then I watched my children playing together and I just started taking pictures of them. These beautiful moment came out.

They are happy little people. They genuinely love each other, and are so loved by so many people. These giggly, tickly, "roar-y" moments (yeah, the boy child is roaring!) are so awesome.

Check it out: You Capture - A Moment

Parenting is Joyous!

My children can be incredibly sweet.

The Princess is so worried about the Baby Boy, she watches over him carefully and alerts me at the first sign of him even glancing at something that may have gluten in it.

The Baby Boy adores his big sister so much. He follows her everywhere.

They play so well together. We spent several minutes today each taking a turn making a silly face and the others having to copy it. It was so much fun, so much giggling occurred! The Baby Boy's faces were priceless, and the Princess could not stop laughing! It was wonderful.

They sat together today, in a laundry basket, the big sister teaching the little brother nursery rhymes.

Precious.

That moment, of course, was immediately followed by pushing and shoving trying to race each other OUT of the laundry basket. Then the little one climbed ON TOP of the big one as she crawled away from the scene, both of them screaming their pretty little heads off.

Precious, always precious. :)

Oh, life.

We are settling in to our new home. Boxes have been unpacked or shuffled to the basement for sorting later. Shelves have been constructed, furniture placed, beds put together and rearranged several times. Toy placement has been played with, resorted, moved around. The dishes pile up. We clean them. They reappear. The laundry is constantly washed, seldom put away, as we are still figuring out where clean laundry should reside.

It's starting to feel like home.

I'm beginning to smile again at the little things I had taken for granted.

The little pets lined up in neat rows on the floor, sorted by animal type.

The eight or so balls underneath the couch, where they had rolled out of reach of little fingers.

The letter and number magnets that cover the refrigerator, holding up school and homemade art projects.

The coat rack that holds each of their little coats, next to my husband's.

They make me smile endlessly and always. Despite any issues that may arise in our day to day life, seeing their smiling little faces, having them reach their hand out for mine, hearing that sweet, "Mama!" (or "MOM!" depending on the mood of the Princess) - these are the things that make my day to day life so infinitely wonderful.

I try and remember these things while they are pushing and screaming and making me want to tear my hair out. I remind myself that these moments will only last for a short while, and soon they will be past this stage. Then I remember that this really will only last a short while - and I should slow down and enjoy every second I can.

There's light at the end of the tunnel!

Color me introspective tonight! I see potential, I feel it, I'm feeling myself finally getting back on the proverbial path. It's a wonderful feeling. Having faith and hope that things will work out, and then acting on that faith and hope, actually gets you somewhere! Who knew, right? It feels good.

We've finally found ourselves in a new home, and after some new furniture, some rearranging (and more rearranging), and some unpacking, it's really starting to feel like home. The kids are getting on a schedule, which is a plus. I'm working on my own schedule so I can work more productively from home. It's there - right within our reach! We can do this!

I'm overflowing with excitement at the possibilities that lie ahead of us. I haven't been able to sleep yet tonight because I'm planning and plotting!

Life is good.

Rewind...Start Over...Again...

That's right, I'm starting over. Why not, right? That's how I feel. It's my life, I'm allowed a do-over or two or twelve, whatever it takes to get this whole thing right! This probably won't be the last time I start over. That's okay. As long as I keep trying, I'll get to my goal eventually.

What exactly is my goal? That's a good question. As always, I have a ton. Lose weight. Make more money. Work from home. Play/coach softball. Go to college. Graduate college. Be a good mother. Be happy. Change the world. All that jazz.

So in starting over, where exactly do I start? No clue. I usually think too much and plan too big and then get lazy and give it all up because it would have taken too much time and energy to even begin to accomplish it all. Maybe I start smaller? Maybe I don't need to change the world today. Maybe I don't need to solve every problem in my life and every problem in everybody around me's life today. Some of that can at least wait until tomorrow, right? Yeah, maybe.

Let's make some realistic goals. Some attainable, realistic goals. First off, I gotta lose some weight. I was doing so great at the beginning of the year. I was working out regularly, eating semi-decently, and I was seeing a change. Right now I feel like I've blimped back up and all my hard work has been for nothing. I don't WANT to exercise right now. That makes me feel worse about myself, thus feeling the need to crawl into bed with my self-pity and my bag of cheddar and sour cream potato chips. Probably not the most effective way to make a change, eh? It's certainly got complicated now that the husband is working different hours. I can't spend the time after work in the gym. But why can't I wake myself up earlier and go before work? Why can't I do more at home? I've got no good answer for any of that. I sure can get up earlier. I sure can work out at home. I can do all of that. I just can't be lazy anymore.

Moving on. School. I'm going back in the fall, and you can't stop me! That's right! I still have entirely too many career goals, but at least I'm going back. I need to call the local school on Monday to update my application and see what I need to do next.

Going along with that, I really need to organize my life so that my schooling doesn't interfere with the rest of my chaotic life. Well, okay, so at least it won't interfere as much as it COULD.

All of this goes along with the happiness thing. I can be happy. I can be a better mother. I can manage it all. I just can't be all talk anymore.

So off on the journey I go. Again. Follow along if you want. It sure will be a bumpy ride, that much I can promise you!