Monday, April 4, 2011


Sometimes I feel like I'm outside my body looking in at my life.

There are so many things I want to do, so many places I want to be, so much I want to happen, but I often feel like I'm just a bystander. I have no control over what is happening.

I want and want and want, and yet I can't make anything happen.

The actions needed sometimes don't happen.


Why can't I push myself for the things I so desperately want?

The idea of work is sometimes exhausting. It will take some serious hard work to achieve some of these things.

But the payout is so amazing. Why isn't that enough motivation?

I'm always aching for more.

I'm content in the here and now, but my heart (and my arms) are always aching.

I suppose that means I'm not really content.

But I hate the idea of NOT being content with the wonderful things I do have.

These thoughts in my head, and these feelings in my heart, tangle with the truths of my reality.

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