Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Those Mid-Winter Blues

It's actually a little early for the blues to hit me. Historically, it happens about mid-January. It's often baffled me how the magical holiday season inspires me and fills me with such joy and love, how I wait with baited breath at the window for the first sign of snowflakes falling....and then all of two minutes later I'm angry and cranky and I've got no good reason for any of it.

This has been the story of my life since as far back as I can remember. I have heard from many people that they go through something like this in the middle of the winter. It's just substantiated itself as I've gotten older and have more obligations and commitments and screaming children who need my attention.

Okay, they aren't screaming, for the most part, but Mommy could really use just a minute to herself every once in awhile...

It's a funk. I can't help it. I've yet to figure out a way to push myself out of it. I'm trying to focus on the new year, setting new goals, starting over, blah blah blahhhh.

I'm on edge, that's for sure.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Oh, life.

We are settling in to our new home. Boxes have been unpacked or shuffled to the basement for sorting later. Shelves have been constructed, furniture placed, beds put together and rearranged several times. Toy placement has been played with, resorted, moved around. The dishes pile up. We clean them. They reappear. The laundry is constantly washed, seldom put away, as we are still figuring out where clean laundry should reside.

It's starting to feel like home.

I'm beginning to smile again at the little things I had taken for granted.

The little pets lined up in neat rows on the floor, sorted by animal type.

The eight or so balls underneath the couch, where they had rolled out of reach of little fingers.

The letter and number magnets that cover the refrigerator, holding up school and homemade art projects.

The coat rack that holds each of their little coats, next to my husband's.

They make me smile endlessly and always. Despite any issues that may arise in our day to day life, seeing their smiling little faces, having them reach their hand out for mine, hearing that sweet, "Mama!" (or "MOM!" depending on the mood of the Princess) - these are the things that make my day to day life so infinitely wonderful.

I try and remember these things while they are pushing and screaming and making me want to tear my hair out. I remind myself that these moments will only last for a short while, and soon they will be past this stage. Then I remember that this really will only last a short while - and I should slow down and enjoy every second I can.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Midnight Conversations

Princess wanders out of her room after being asleep for several hours and asks me to come and tuck her in. I, of course, oblige, and as I'm leaving her room, the following conversation takes place, while her eyes are closed:

Princess: Mommy, can you move the crayons for me?
Me: *chuckle* Sure, baby, I'll move them.
Princess: Mommy, I know it's really in my imagination, so it's okay if you don't move them.

Smart cookie, she is! I then go to the kitchen and pop some popcorn (don't judge me!). About 20 minutes later, out she comes:

Princess: Mama, my pillow smells like popcorn!

Then she turns and proceeds back into her room with her smelly pillow, and I return to my delicious popcorn.