Thursday, August 20, 2009

She's growing up...but I didn't agree to that!

It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital, high as a kite, laughing my way through 13 hours of labor. The Princess made her grand entrance into this world in the afternoon (as is the tradition of the women in our family, all PM babies!) on a Monday, with the sun streaming through the window of our hospital room. That's what I remember most about that day - how it went from dark to light in what seemed like seconds, as if her presence had brightened our room, our world, our hearts.

Oh, and I also remember the first thing she did as she emerged into the bright room was poop on my foot and the doctor. First impressions, I tell ya...

Today began the next chapter of her bright little life. I signed her up for pre-school.

To be completely honest, I am a wreck. How do I leave my bright, creative, energetic baby with some person who does not know her or understand her spirit? She's bubbly and happy and smart as a whip. She moves through life with a skip in her step, her blonde curls bouncing everywhere she goes. She brightens the room when she enters with her beautiful smile, her quick wit, her sparkling eyes. How can I be sure that these people at her school will take my bright, spirited baby under their wing and foster her creativity and energy? How can I be sure that her beautiful spirit will be accepted and not frowned upon? How can I be sure that they will just accept her as she is, and not look at her as unruly or misbehaving when she sings a Taylor Swift song randomly at the top of her lungs in the middle of the day, or when she goes on one of her great adventures with her pal Swiper and her pet Lamb (whether they come to class or not!)? Oh gosh, and those kids...they better be nice to her! How can I protect her from cruel children? How can I be sure she is strong enough to let those comments roll off her back? How can I be sure that she comes home from that school still bubbly and shining and bright?

How do I not be the crazy mother who drives by twenty times during recess and peers through the windows of her classroom???

My poor kid. I should be more worried about how embarrassed she's going to be by her stalker mother following her around her college campus in 14 years....

Wait. 14 years until she is in college??? That's it??? I am so not ready for any of this!!

So tonight I'm not going to worry about her waking up in the middle of the night and cuddling up next to me and whispering, "Hold me, Mama" as she plays with my hair. Because in 14 years, she's going to be sleeping in her college dorm room, completely unconcerned about her mother...

...who will probably be peering in her window!

No comments: