Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Words.

I've been tongue tied a lot lately. Not even just when it comes to my blog. The words are just not presenting themselves in a timely fashion!

I feel... off.

I'm not sad or upset or angry, and for the most part, I'm happy and feeling good.

Except... not.

It's just the oddest thing.

It's now almost 2:00am and for the first time all day I have energy to clean. I just organized my desk and have my plans set for tomorrow's work day. Great!

Except... I was supposed to clean the living room.


I told the husband that I'd pick up the living room, maybe go crazy and sweep a little, and he promised to do some dishes when he got home from work. PERFECT, as I despise dishes.

Except... not.

Where the heck is my head?? I have a lot to do, yes, but nothing new has developed and I'm not feeling overwhelmed. Financially we are still feeling good (thank you, IRS, for your timely deposit!). Nobody's arguing. The kids have enjoyed being out in the warmer weather (except for yesterday, but I'll just pretend yesterday's crappy rainy freeze-your-butt-off day didn't exist!).

So what the heck is going on??

I threw the kids in the car this afternoon because the thought of washing the pan I needed to make dinner (because of course THAT was the one still dirty!) was just too much, coupled with the actual act of MAKING the dinner. I just couldn't take it.

As we drove around, I called the husband and said, "Something is seriously wrong with me."

And then I drove through Taco Bell.

Mommy fail.

Yummy, but... fail.

Now I cringe as I look at the clock because it really is almost 2:00am, and I have to get up in the morning to get the girl off to school, and then I have to do some real estate work, and then I have to work on my softball practice plan, and then actually coach the practice, and then I have to come home and make dinner, and oh crap what if I don't get a chance to wash that stupid pan, what will I feed those kids?



Something is... off.

Mental overload? Can that be possible without actually feeling overwhelmed?

That's gotta be it.




That's gotta be it.

That or I've officially lost it.

I sat by and watched the boy child color on the refrigerator today.

I sat and WATCHED. Then took the crayon away. After he had colored for several moments, all the while peering at me, obviously thinking, "Come on, lady, I'm over here coloring, aren't you supposed to come after me? What the heck is wrong with you?"

Good call, bud, what the heck?

Now that it IS 2:00am, maybe I should just take my non-productive-but-I-think-maybe-I-am-productive-but-I'm-probably-not-productive behind to bed.

Maybe tomorrow will be more productive.

Or something.

1 comment:

KLZ said...

You sound like you need a nap to me. Get the hubs to take the kids somewhere for a few hours on the weekend and just do stuff for you. No cleaning the living room or scrubbing that pot. Taco Bell won't hurt anyone once in awhile :)